I look up at the sky and wonder why I am here and not in heaven.

Why am I here breathing air and taking up space.

Where I feel I don’t belong and out of place.

What good am I?

Being broken inside with no heart or soul, ruining friends and family life’s with my existence.

How life would be so much better without me here.

Everyone would be happier without my existence, taking up space another worthier person should have.

I don’t believe I’m worthy of this ruined life. This life that was torn apart, smashed into a million pieces then slowly glued back together.

Having missing pieces, not feeling complete has made me feel as though I’m not worthy of any thing in life.

Not worthy of the happiness I see that my friends have.

Not worthy of the love that I so long to have within my heart.

Not worthy of being myself, the person I know that I am deep inside.

Not worthy of any thing that life surrounds us with.

Unworthy is how I feel deep inside of me.

My life seemed empty with no hope of ever feeling again.

I walk alone on that long stretch ahead with no one beside me.

I hang my head down staring at the dirt road, not daring to have someone see the hurt, pain and loneliness in my eyes.

For they would see that I’m in need of someone to love me.

But I had no one.

No one to hold me.

No one to kiss me.

No one to say, “I love you.”

No one to be there when I needed someone the most.

Until the day I met you.

Your kind words, kind gestures, and warm sense of humor made me hope for something real.

For something long lasting.

For something dreams were made of.

For that love that I longed for, for so long.

For now I no longer need to hope or dream, for you have come into my heart and filled it with love, hope, and long lasting dreams of a love worthwhile and a life filled with happiness.

I will no longer walk that long stretch ahead alone, for you will be right by my side from now until the end of time.

As I sit here watching as the rain falls from the grey skies above. I wonder what your thinking of. Are your thoughts like mine? Of that one day when we meet, of that one day when our eyes will gaze into each other, seeing the love we hold for each other, of that one day when my arms will hold you in the warmth of my love, of that one day when our lips will finally taste the sweetness of heaven. That is what I wonder of, sitting here, watching as the rain falls from the grey skies above.

As I lay here on my bed listening to music, I begin to wonder if I will ever find that special someone. That special someone everyone dreams about, the one who will know your every thought, how to bring a smile to your face, and who knows exactly what to say to make you feel bright as sunshine. But does that person really exist; is that person destined to be with me in this lifetime, will that person truly love me for me? So far I have not found that person and doubt if I ever will. For true love is not easily found or earned. Searching for it will only bring you misery or heartache, but waiting can also be tiresome and extremely lonely. Waiting may bring you your true love and may even be worth the wait and then come to the end of finally having found your special someone. Or waiting can bring you a certain love that seems at first like the true love kind, when out of the blue it all stops at once and your heart is ripped from your chest and left to bleed. I’m like most people who are terrified of falling in love again and having their hearts ripped from their chest and left bleeding, but my heart begs to love and to be loved. So what am I to do? Allow myself to be put in that position of possibly being hurt again or even worse left so broken that there is no room for repair or should I just go with the flow and feel the warmth and joy of being in love and being loved? It such a shame that we must go through so many trials to find the right person, but then its true what they say, every experience we endure in our entire life equals who we are now and that is the person who they will love. So a word to those who will love me, I have endure many trials and have built a thick wall around my heart and will take an army to over come it, but it may well be worth it. Good Luck!

When I was in Advanced Fiction Writing, our professor had us write a creative excuse for not turning in an assignment, so if we ever forgot we could use our written excuse in substitute of the forgotten assignment. So, here was my creative excuse for not turning in an assignment. Which I never had to use by the way!

When you announced the other day in class that there was to be a contest to meet Prince Charming and perhaps be the fortunate one to wed him and all we had to do was write a fable and hand it in the next time class met. I began to think that if I was chosen to wed Prince Charming I would no longer have to clean up after my step mother and my ugly step sisters. No more scrubbing floors until my knuckles are red, no more washing all the clothes until the early hours of the morning, no more mending the clothes that they never wear, and finally no more tending to the animals and the gardens.

Since that day the only thing that was keeping me rational was the fact that I had finished my fable, which I thought was quite good. I was so proud of myself that I read my fable out loud, my ugly step sisters must have been listening when they burst into the kitchen, taking my fable from my very hands. My ugly step sisters wouldn’t allow a simple kitchen maid, who went to the same school as the servants children did, to win the contest to meet the Prince. They ripped my fable. Watching as the tiny pieces of paper fall to the ground broke my heart to know that I would never have the chance to meet Prince Charming.

 As they walked away laughing their cruel laughs, I threw myself on my cot to drain my sorrows in my pillow, when I heard tiny little bells chime. I looked up and saw a golden light in the little corner with gold sparkling dust and in a flash there was a man in a pink two-two with white wings, waving a wand.

I had no idea who this person was, so I asked, “Who are you?”

Picking at his two-two, he glared at me. “I’m only a stand-in for your Fairy Godmother.”

          “What’s with the outfit?” I couldn’t help but stare at how awkward he looked in the pink two-two.

          “The wicked witch of the west shrunk my clothes, when she found out that I was the reason Dorothy’s house landed on her sister.” He gave her a little smile.

          Was he for real! He claimed to be her Fairy Godmoth. . .I mean my Fairy Godfather. Where was my Fairy Godmother? So I asked him, “Where’s my Fairy Godmother?”

          “She eloped with one of the Keebler elves. I heard she had a thing for short men.”

          He was here to grant wishes and my wish was to have my fable. So, I asked for my wish. “Oh, Fairy Godfather, I wish to have my fable, so I may enter the contest to win the Prince’s heart.”

          “Well, that is a little hard to do seeing as how my wand doesn’t work. I forgot to charge it before coming into work today.” Fairy Godfather just shrugged his shoulders and said, “I came to lend you my shoulders to cry on.” Fairy Godfather sat down next to me on my cot.

          I leaned over and cried on his shoulder, for I had lost my chance at entering the contest to meet Prince Charming. I would have no fable to hand in to you, now I would always be a kitchen maid.

          I write this note to ask you to please forgive me, for not handing in my fable on time. Which I know would have won not only the contest, but the Prince’s heart. Place the fault at my ugly step sisters for tearing up my fable and my stand-in good for nothing Fairy Godfather for his wand did not work.

                                      The End

There are times where my soul is confused.
At times my soul feels as though it is dark
as night, where I feel powerful as though
nothing can hurt me, but there are other
times where my soul feels bright as sun
shine, where I am weak and powerless
against my enemies.
But it is the darkness that I long for.
It begs me to release it from its cage.
It calls to me, to allow the darkness to
wrap its darkened arms around me, but I
feel if I do, I may hurt those around me.
For it has already begun to seep through
the cracks of the cage, slowly taking control
of my body.
It will not be long before my soul is darken,
releasing my true self, the one I long to be.
But when the darkness does wrap its arms
around me, I will accept it as my fate.